Well, I needed a new journal entry, so here we go. This is like, a chronical of the life of Whe4. He is the most badass person I know, Eddie being the second (sorry dude. I'll make it up to you)

From what I've heard through various sources, the story goes like this:

He was born the baby of the sun (the star in our solar system). His mother was a hermit crab, but not just a random one you'd find in an elementary classroom as a pet. It was a mutant government test subject RADIOACTIVE hermit crab that shot rockets from it's eyes and laser claws. YEAH CLAWS MADE OUT OF FREAKIN LAZERS!!!!!

He was raised by a pack of wolves, ninjas, dinosaurs, rockstars and gypsies, not necessarily in that order. He then became an appprentice of Chuck Norris and learned everything he could. Then one cold winter day, they had to stop and asteroid from impacting on the Eastern Seaboard. "I'll handle this" Chuck said to Whe4; It would be his undoing. Whe4 pulled a missile launcher out of his mexi-fro and aimed it at Chuck's slowly disappearing sillhouette and fired, destroying both in one swift blow.

He beat up every other badass person you might possibly know. You know 'The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny?' You know 'Mr. Rodgers in a blood-stained sweater' at the end? That's Whe4 in disguise. Why is he in disguise? Well that's easy; the mere sight of him or mention of his name could kill. I very well may be risking your life sharing this.

But I digress; the very existence of Whe4 is an enigma in itself. It cannot simply be explained within this text, or though any media known to man. It has been theorized that Whe4 exists exclusively in the "7-Zth" dimension, and it's his residual awesome-ness that we are experiencing in this world.

Whether or not you believe in Wheaman is up to you, but I'll leave you with this news excerpt from The Monitor, a local Texas newspaper, where he was supposedly last seen at a rodeo.

- Steven LaPlaca -
Reporter for The Monitor

According to several eyewitness reports, a mysterious figure was seen flying up into the clouds around 2:30 AM yesterday morning. "Yeah, he was glowin' this weird color, and it looked like he was surfin on his own hair!" Exclaimed Marie Goldfellow, a local business owner in the area. No one knows who this mysterious character is, or what his motives for being here could be; We may never know.